On why I would never want to be a cat

Cats are well within their rights to rant. Their life is so boring, they actually make the decision to sleep through it. Like a child desperate to sleep on Xmas eve in an attempt to make time go faster, cats seem to be impatient for the end of their life.

Is it the "gift" of 9 lives that drives this? Would we, the hairless apes, feel the same way if we knew we had 8 extra lives to spend?

I don't think so. I think cats have it pretty average, not least for the reasons listed below.

- bad breath
- the burden of having to clean yourself with your own tongue, then vomit up all the dirt and hair you pulled off your own body
- the lack of opposable thumbs, which leads to such embarrassment as being forced to drag your itchy, worm-ridden arse across the pavement in a futile attempt to scratch/clean it
- no matter WHY you are being taken to the vet, they will always put something in your bum
- something else about cat arse
- the likelihood that your owner/slave will remove your genitals, simply to make their life a tiny bit easier

In my humble opinion, they sleep to numb the pain of being a feline.